


rough night

by dearzoemurphy



Series: 100 Ways to Say "I Love You" [5]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Caretaking, F/M, Hangover, Mid Canon, Pillow Fights, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: 100 ways to say I love you #18: drink this, it will make you feel betterAmy Santiago is hungover at work, and a certain charming detective insists that he has a working cure.





	rough night

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: I'm dealing with Linnexit grief in any way I can

“Damn Santiago, rough night, huh?” Jake asked, gesturing to his partner’s sunglasses as she trudged over to her desk.

Amy groaned. “Kylie got me drunk last night. We were talking about boys and Teddy and- we started drinking and couldn't stop,” she explained, practically falling into her seat.

“You tried a hangover cure yet?” Peralta asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No. Those never work for me. It's okay, I'll deal with it. I'll be fine so long as Holt doesn't ask to see me,” the brunette said, removing her sunglasses and blinking into the light.

Jake smirked. “What if I made you a foolproof Peralta patented hangover cure? I could whip it up in a few minutes,” he offered.

Amy shook her head. “That's very kind but…no. No one else can know how trashed I got,” she said with conviction.

“No offense Ames, but I think if you interact with anyone at all for any length of time, they're gonsta know,” the other detective said jokingly.

“Rude. And I'm fine! I'll be so fine so soon,” his partner insisted before rubbing her temples.

“Whatever you say,” Jake said, rolling his eyes and returning to his work.

\---

Amy woke up a while later with a start. “I'm up! I'm up. I'm- Jake? I told you not to…did I fall asleep?” she asked.

“Yeah. We let you nap for about an hour before Holt asked me to do something about it,” her partner explained.

“Holt got involved?! Oh no, this is bad. This is so, so, so bad. I can't-” the brunette began rambling.

Jake smiled. “Here, why don't you go lie down in the break room for a minute. Wake up, drink this. You'll feel better. It's the Peralta guarantee,” he said, holding out a mug and placing a hand on Amy’s back.

“Wouldn't the Peralta promise be catchier?” the detective asked as she was guided towards the break room.

“Y’know Ames, if I was taking suggestions, I'd have a box,” Jake said, feigning hurt.

“Fine. Suffer. Have people believe you're absolutely and utterly an idiot,” Amy said curtly as she flopped dramatically onto the precinct couch.

Jake gasped. “Amy Santiago! If you don't stop talking to me like that, I'm going to be ridiculously horny at work, and we can't have that,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest.

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Just give me the super special hangover cure if Holt’s making you do this,” she said, irritated but smiling.

Her partner grinned and delicately handed her the mug. “Here ya go lil lady,” he said, faking a Cockney accent.

Amy rolled her eyes again. “Bet this won't work,” she said before taking a large swig.

Jake pushed her legs to the side and plopped onto the couch next to her. “That just might be the meanest thing you've said to me so far, and I think I'm the horniest I've been so far,” he said.

The other detective’s face scrunched up.

“Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” Jake asked.

“No, of course not. You talk about being horny all the time,” Amy replied.

“Do I? I didn't think I talked about it that much-” he said, scratching his head.

“What's in this cure?” his partner interjected, face still scrunched up.

“Oh! That. It's a super special family secret, but trust me, it works. You have to drink the whole thing, no matter how repulsive you may find it” the brown eyed boy insisted.

“Here goes nothing,” Amy said before lifting the mug and swiftly downing the rest of its contents.

“Bold move,” Jake said with admiration.

“Oh my god, that was the worst experience I've had in a very long time,” she said simply.

“That was the worst experience I've had in a very long time, title of your sex tape!” the male detective cried out excitedly.

Amy lifted a pillow from beneath her and threw it at the other cop. “Not a great time for that joke, Mr. Horndog,” she said indignantly, setting the empty mug on a side table.

“It was too perfect to pass up!” Jake protested, lunging across the couch to where other throw pillows were resting beneath Amy. She giggled and grabbed two, hugging them tightly to her chest. Her partner dug his fingers into the edge of one and did his best to yank it free from her grip.

“Stop it!” Amy whined.

“What were you gonna do with these pillows then? Not throw them at me?” Jake asked, stopping what he was attempting to do.

The brunette detective looked up sheepishly. “...I wasn't gonna throw them at you. I was gonna…” she started before springing up and whacking Jake on the head with a pillow in each hand, “hit you with them!”

Amy’s devastating move landed her on top of her partner. She squeezed around his torso with her thighs to keep him down and kept beating down with the pillows until Jake found a window of opportunity and snatched one of them from her grasp.

“And you thought you had me locked down,” he said smarmily, blindly beating back up at where he thought Amy to be, but couldn't see since he was looking away and covering his face with one hand. She dug one hand into his hair and pulled his head up so that their faces were nearly touching.

“Oh, Peralta… I hope you know, this means war. Vicious pillow war,” Amy said darkly, smirking slightly.

Jake froze for a moment, completely captivated by everything that Amy Santiago was in that moment. He suddenly became keenly aware of how much her thighs were constricting his breathing. “Vicious pillow war, title of your sex tape,” he said to break the silence.

Amy laughed and let him go before slumping back so that she was sitting on his stomach. “That one was lame, even for you,” she said, picking up the first thrown pillow from the ground.

“What's that supposed to mean, “even for me”? I'm the only one who makes those jokes, I am the standard!” Jake said, hurt.

“And even for your measly little standards, that was lame,” his partner said unquestionably.

“Santiago? Peralta? What's going on here?” a voice boomed from the doorway.

Both detectives looked up. Amy gasped. “Captain! I'm so, so sorry. You see, Jake and I were…training…” she weakly started to defend.

“I don't care. Just get off Peralta and get back to work,” Holt ordered, sounding defeated as he rubbed his forehead and left the doorway.

“Aw snap, Amy Santiago just got reprimanded by her superior for slacking off at work! Did I wake up in the Upside Down?” Gina quipped, appearing out of thin air and taking Holt’s place in the doorway.

“Can it, Gina,” Jake said as Amy delicately lifted herself off of him.

“Yeah, can it Gina!” Amy backed him up surely.

“And she's being assertive and standing up for herself? Is this what screwing Jake Peralta does?” Gina asked, clasping her hands together.

“Screwing? I…no! We've never…” the other woman stuttered indignantly.

“Nah, you'd know if she was on the Peralta train. She'd literally be glowing and absolutely unable to take her eyes off of me,” Jake interjected, moving in front of Amy and cockily tilting his head to the side.

“You're not helping your case. She's not been far from either of those things lately. But that's not my place I guess, so I'll skedaddle off to do my job or whatever,” his friend said before making an exit as hasty as her entrance.

Once she was gone, Jake shook his head and turned back to Amy. “Sorry about her, I know it's a weird topic-”

“No, it's okay! I was on top of you willingly, things can be…misinterpreted. Title of your sex tape,” Amy said, meekly tucking her hair behind her ears before placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder and scurrying out of the break room.

Jake stood where he was for a moment, stunned. “Wait, Santiago! Did you just make a sex tape joke?” he called, running into the bullpen after her.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this prompt!! as always, leave a comment with any thoughts or opinions you may have, and I'll see you all next time <3


End file.
